on the wings of love

"Just smile for me and let the day begin,
You are the sunlight that lights my heart within.
I'm sure that you're an angel in disguise,
Come take my hand and together we will rise.
On the wings of love up and above the clouds,
The only way to fly is on the wings of love.
On the wings of love only the two of us,
Together flying high,
Flying high upon the wings of love."

for my favourite person in the world.. :)

wooot!

i'm not a very dress-y person, but i saw a pic of this dress on a friend's site and i just had to pilfer it. it is sososo gorgeous! HALLO SHER i think you'll love it too (it's pink! heh :P)

gah

somebody please kidnap my laptop. just from now till exams are over.
maybe i should also uninstall dc++. but i'm way too weak to do so. :/

torquay!

as promised, this is the entry about my stayover at torquay.
we stayed in a beach house in this place called sunset strip (i think it sounds really cheery and beach-y, by the way). it had quite a country feel to it, since the interior was mostly wooden and it even had a fireplace!
i remember enjoying a nice homecooked meal of sweet&sour pork, cabbage with mushrooms, spam&bakedbeans omelette and roast chicken; watching 'welcome to the jungle'; playing cluedo, bluff and a**hole-daidee.. haha :) oh and nick & i went stargazing at night and boy, the whole sky was littered with specks of shimmery stars! it was just astounding, and what a sight to behold! i've never ever seen so many stars in the sky before.
most of our group woke up at 530am to catch the sunrise, but i, being the pig, decided that i would rather miss the sunrise than sacrifice 3 hours of sleep. but it's ok sherlynn captured it all on her cam. :P
we went to bell's beach after breakfast. bell's beach is a world famous surfer's paradise, and sure enough, there were quite a number of surfers when we went there.

soaking up the sun at bell's beach


the essential beach jumpshot.. i think it looks ad-worthy :)


playing frisbee with the coast dog


sunglasses! sher loves this one.


with sher & nick in the car!


nick and his turned-up collar :P


after our wonderful day at bell's beach, we headed down to geelong to try the fish&chips at giligans', voted the best fish&chips outside melbourne. mmhm yumyum.. i like. value-for-money, too!


el and tiff love fish&chips!



thank God for the wonderful weather.. couldn't imagine how our trip would have dampened if it was raining or freezing cold. i loved every moment of the trip, but my face is now blotchy thanks to the intense sun rays. ugh :/

back

came back from torquay last evening, meant to post up some pictures but uploading the pictures from cam to laptop already tired me out, so i'll post them later. be patient!
need to go to uni now. toodles!

what is with

those comments? can't believe i'm getting spammed on my blog. O_o

ugh.

sometimes i really feel like a total a**. i'm far from being the perfect daughter and my dad is way too nice to me.
was talking to daddy on the phone last night, and we talked and talked and talked for a good one hour. during which, he updated me about the dengue outbreak at home, and some funny-itis viral disease which is spreading in india. my dad cuts out all the newspaper clippings about novel diseases and of the medical scene in singapore. he laminates them and puts them all in one clear folder, for me to have when i go back for summer vacation. i told my dad about my horrible midsem results, half expecting to be berated, but the harsh words never came. instead he said, "don't worry i'm sure you're still above average. and i know you're still somewhere high up despite what you think."
seriously.
sometimes i think my dad loves me too much.
i feel so happy and sad at the same time. the happy part being self-explanatory; the sad part being how i feel as though i've let him down in one way or another. and not able to see or touch him where i'm at. it's okay. only 2 months to go!

anyway, i'm going to the beach later! we're gonna stay in nick's uncle's beach house and i think it will be really fun. can't hardly wait! :)

one s-weeet day.

HI. so i crawled out of bed at 1035, with only 10 minutes to wash up and change for church. but i made it :) we went to rich maha for lunch after church today! had the egg prata which was ginormous and some butter chicken as well. mmhm. i love indian food!
then we traipsed down to DFO in cheltenham to shop! major wallet damage. i am seriously broke now. but it's okay i don't mind eating my soy and linseed bread with roast beef and cheese and tuna everyday. and i have 11 packets of instant noodles to last me for the week. i realise that i make shopping decisions real quickly whenever i shop with sher. put the both of us together and it's like collateral wallet damage. but i still enjoy shopping with sher tremendously. i hardly see her nowadays and shopping is just the perfect time for us to bond. she is my highly-excitable high-pitched shopping buddy! :) i think 3 hours of shopping is just not enough for us both! haha. felt quite bad making the rest wait for us though.. maybe next time we should just camp at cheltenham. :S
i think mom & dad will strangle me if they found out how much i've spent in the last 3 days. i estimate AUD$280. sheesh :/ i hate the guilt-trip after assessing the damages. dang.
but it's justified, because i will starve myself (i need to lose weight anyway) and i won't be shopping from now till my exams are over (yes el just keep lying to yourself).
oh happy day! now i need to go and do some serious mugging. OKBYE. :P

hello

for some reason, i just didn't like the previous template.
so i changed it to the standard one, which i think looks much cleaner.
its nearly 4am now and i should be in bed sleeping but i'm up and about, eating a scone and drinking milk tea and watching gilmore girls. i think i'm quite crazy sometimes. and i think some people would be nodding their heads furiously now, attesting to this. ha ha.
i really should be studying, i know.
but like nick says, i can get stressed and anxious about stuff, but i don't do anything about it. or maybe, i just don't care enough. :P yikes i think both cases are equally bad.
shaaat.
anyways it's the midsem break now! a week's worth of holidays!! i love holidays. yay! :)

i dislike the feeling of being happy, then sad, then happy all over again so intermittently.
i dislike being on some emotional rollercoaster and having my insides all wrung up.
i dislike it that i have this knack for messing things up when things are going fine.
sometimes i really don't know what is wrong with me, or what to do.
oh and i really dislike the frustration that comes along with it...

this is my brother's latest msn nick:
screw him screw me screw everybody

this is bigjem's latest msn nick:
screw this, screw you, screw everything

i just find it so amusing. because i remembered that my bro and bigjem were ex-cat high boys. and then i thought, what is it with cat high guys..
hehe just kidding, big jem don't whack me..!

[edited. @2218]

big jem's reaction.

screw this, screw you, screw everything argh! says:
...
screw this, screw you, screw everything argh! says:
wahlao
eleanor says:
hehe
eleanor says:
funnny mah
screw this, screw you, screw everything argh! says:
hehe
screw this, screw you, screw everything argh! says:
wtf non cat high boys say that too k
screw this, screw you, screw everything argh! says:
lol
eleanor says:
i know
eleanor says:
but i mean it was funny that both u and my bro changed nicks at the same time
eleanor says:
and some more got so much screwing involved hahaha
screw this, screw you, screw everything argh! says:
hahahhaa
screw this, screw you, screw everything argh! says:
screw you toooooo
eleanor says:
what?!
eleanor says:
you good
eleanor says:
i am gonna post this on my blog HAHAHAHA

i'm posting this cos big jem is too nice to possibly whack me. cat high guys are nice right? :P

--

i was just reading kr's latest entry about our disgusting grades for midsem, and it really brought me back to the ol' rj days. doggedly studying my brains off while only managing to scrape Ds and Es and all i could do was wallow in self-pity while my smart classmates scored As and Bs, as though the exams were free frags. i'm not like that anymore (although i still get sad over sh*tty results) but at least my top concern is not the numerical grade itself. i know i'll do better next time, but the thought of screwing up, even just this once, is unbearable because i feel like i'm wasting my parents' money. ok this hols i will need to do a lot of catching up. A LOT.

el: you know i went to print out the lecture notes for all the lectures i missed?
kr: yeah why?
el: they were like this thick. (measures out 1.5 inches)
kr: wah serious? HAHAHAHA

as i watch everyone buzzing with excitement about medball,
gushing about dresses, shoes, hair, after-party, drinks etc.
somehow, a part of me wants to go.
every single person gives me this wide-eyed, pouty, you-are-really-missing-out-alot-"WHYYY?"-whine when i say i'm not going.
i feel like quite the antisocialite. gah.
okay. next year i will go.
i will drag kr, joan and shu along as well.
ok dears? we must go for medball next year.

there are millions of people in this world.
but in the end,
it all comes down to one.

<3

sometimes they say pain is good
maybe it is.
or do people just say that to ease the pain.

i wanted to take a break from blogging here, but i have this sudden unexplained urge to proclaim that i love my dad veryveryvery much. somehow it seems that the further we are, the closer we get. a paradox in itself. but yes, i'm beginning to understand my dad more, as he is beginning to respect me more. talking for hours is not important; communication is.

excuse me while i disappear.

walking back home from uni with joan is always enjoyable. i think i'm going to make it a point to walk back with her more often.

el: i bought a muffin just now.
joan: you like muffins ah?
el: ya.
joan: eee... muffins are like.. fake cake.

el: remember our suturing prac tutor?
joan: ya he's so cute i want to take care of him
el: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

joan deserves an award for being SO hilarious without even trying to. :D

oh. i've finished grey's anatomy season one.
i didn't like the ending but patrick dempsey is hot :)

i've got my site visit later but i'm dreading it.
i dunno why. maybe i'm just tired and my back hurts like shrum.
either way, i'm messed up.

my neighbour is freaking LOUD.
i'm getting irritated.
>:(

chubbs.

today i was chatting with my uncle on MSN,
when he suddenly asked me,
"who is the girl in your MSN display picture?"
and i said, "it's ME!"
and then he replied, "i can't recognise you! think you need to control your diet."
and i was like, O_0.

sh*tttt.

sleeeeeep.

today's selective was actually quite interesting, because we went to the sleep laboratory,
and got to do an electroencephalogram (EEG) on my classmate.
so we measured her head and marked out spots on her scalp with a marker,
then we stuck electrodes on her head, cheek and jaws.
then we let her fall asleep on a nice comfy bed,
and observed her brain, eye and jaw activity while she slept.
that was when i felt so sleeepy,
and wished that i was the one who had volunteered instead. :P

this song called stay by lisa loeb is playing over and over in my head.
i missed my 4th epidemiology class! at this point in time i dunno whether to laugh or cry. epi is the saddest subject on earth and everyone doodles during class but then again i've skipped so many classes i think it puts my promotion to year 2 in jeopardy. aaaack. i'm hopeless :(

i have amassed like a gazillion bites on my back and chest from those frrrickin bugs that supposedly lurk in my bed. yikes. raaarr.

and by the by;
to cde,
whoever you are,
i may be one techno-idiot, but i know how to track your geographical location, the times you visit me, the kind of browser you use, and most importantly, i know your IP address.
however, i don't think i will waste my time trying to identify you.
so you may think you know a lot about me through my blog (which is essentially a record of my superficial and random musings), but in truth, you know squat about me, or my personal life, for that matter.
well no offence, but i'm sure your time is just as precious as mine. please don't do inane things and squander it away, ok? :P

ha ha. :)

i,
am frrrrreakin tired.

jem gan,
thanks for your articles & book;
and also for the much unwanted publicity.
i think i have never been more famous. x(

people are funny.

when they don't have something they badly want,
they wish and hope with all their heart that they might eventually get it.
and they think that if they do,
they will be fulfilled.

and when they finally get it,
they think to themselves,
"i wish i could have got a bit more than that."

people are never contented.
give them what they want,
and they want more.

i know it's only natural to want the best,
but don't we all get tired?
from all this incessant chasing,
from all this dogged pursuing of things that we think we need,
from trying to grasp hold of all that we cannot hold in one hand?
i don't know about you,
but i sure am tired.

i think it's time to slow down,
and stop to look at the lovely flowers along the road.
when we run, and only bother to look ahead,
we fail to look at ourselves, and the things around us.
we fail to see who we are, and who or what we have.
we run after so many things, but we don't know what is it that we really want, or need.
and ever so often in our mad dash,
we end up treading on those pretty flowers
and missing out on the simple beauty of life.

very often i tell myself to relax and take things easy,
but i realise that i can't.
no matter what i am doing,
there's this nagging in the back of my head,
and all i hear is "assignment!anatomy!readstudyguide!"
it gets worse when i haven't done a single productive thing all day.
but ahhwell nevermind.
it was nickhu's birthday today, so it was a good excuse to do not work. :P
i am going to watch some bedtime grey's anatomy,
and leave all the work to be completed tomorrow (i hope).
aight i'm tired. all i wanna say is,
chili padis stink.

ok. i know i said i need to study.
but i just had to write this before i go.

i was just random blog surfing when i came across this guy's blog, who is actually someone i know, or rather, used to know.
i remember,
he was of average build, wore thick glasses and high socks, and was really smart.
when i first saw him, he struck me as a very studious person (ie. nerd).
so when he told me he was going to join the cross-country team, without any previous running experience, i nearly flipped.
then one day, he turned around and said to me,
"can i date you for a run?"
and freaked me out real bad.
i am sorry to say, but at that point in time, he struck me as a complete weirdo.
and then i began to talk to him less, and gradually all contact ceased.
i heard he wasn't exactly good in the cross team, but i knew he tried very hard.

so just now, after more than 3 years of not knowing what happened to him, i clicked on the link to his blog,
and i read that he was still running.
running running running marathons and all.
so now i only have one word to say:
RESPECT!

i feel really bad to have classified him as one of those 'cannot-make-it' types then.
i know, it's just plain horrible. but i was mean then. :P

reading about his determination and perseverance has reallyreally put me to shame. :/
i'm just glad that he is still pressing on, and i truly am overjoyed at his achievements. :)

trackback to the entry i made exactly one week ago:

"when self-control is lacking, we tend to spiral down into a path of self-destruction."


at the rate i'm going now-
missing classes, not getting enough shut-eye, stuffing myself with junkfood and un-nutritious meals, getting stressed, getting distracted, not studying enough, yaddayaddablahblahblah;

if i don't wake up my idea soon, i fear my self-destruction will be imminent.
i need to study. toodles.

back from tae-bo! i like it :)

if there was one word to describe my predicament now,
it would be: stuffed.

the pile keeps getting higher. and higher.
i'm falling behind. further and further behind.
so many things, but only one me.
o God help me please.

i hope you see this on time:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JIALIN!*

to one of my bestest friends of seven whopping years, i wish you a blessed and wonderful celebration on this very special day. i haven't seen you in nearly a year, and though right now i'm not sure if you're still back home, or in germany, i pray that you'll be surrounded by loved-ones/friends and basking in lots of love, laughter and joy.

i know we seldom get to talk nowadays, but i really do miss you. and i wonder when we can meet up. and i wonder if you're still you, because i know i'm not same ol' me anymore.

there's this thing about love, where you don't have to find a reason to love someone.
you just do.
we may never know the reason why we do.
maybe we will never need to.
it's like how God loves us so deeply,
despite our all iniquities.
He loves us without question, without prejudice, without boundaries.

Love never fails.
:)

i think i'm inept at expressing my emotions.
the things i say and do, somehow don't correspond to what i mean.
meaning something but not saying it.
saying something but not meaning it.

it gets a little distressing sometimes.
unsettling, even.

est-ce la vie, ou est-il moi?

this week, i skipped 13 hours of school.
i know. i'm really getting irresponsible. :(
if i were in the arts fac, i might as well have not come to school for the entire week.
i didn't turn up for PCL on monday, and neither did i, on friday.
so poor kr had to lie for me.
and now my tutor thinks i fell ill due to pre- and post-exam stress. i hope she doesn't think i'm some hardcore exam freak.
i bet all my classmates laughed their faces off when kr cooked it up. heh. i should have been there :p

sometimes i wish we all had USB 2.0 ports at the back of our heads.
then i could plug my thumbdrive into kahyong's head, pilfer all his knowledge, and stick the thumbdrive back into my head just before the exam.

sometimes i wish the organisation of my brain was like my gmail account. all my thoughts could be filtered, and then all my rubbish musings would go into the junk folder, and all the more important and relevant thoughts into my inbox. i could also save all the pleasant, sweet memories into my archive, and delete all those miserable, unhappy ones at the touch of a mouseclick. and then when i communicate with others via email, i would be forced to think before i say anything, and whatever that i've said can be stored in my sent folder for me to reflect upon.

i'd have to say that i get distracted very easily. VERY.
like i've been trying to work on my assignment for the past 3 days and i've done squat. i'm ploughing through databases and reading a gazillionbillion articles but before i'm even through one article, i get so bored and succumb to MSN and random www surfing. and blogging. darn.
some people like kr have the most efficient kind of study/work tactics- yknow the chopchop kind, the 'start today finish today' type of attitude. me, i'm like the 'it's ok i'll start tomorrow instead' kind, except that my 'tomorrow' is like 2 weeks later. double darn.

*

ok. jeremy just got discharged from the hospital. stupid dengue. i'm sososo glad he's more or less ok now. the power of prayer. praise God!

i think i either have chronic fatigue syndrome, or i'm just addicted to sleep.

this is what dear sherlynn wrote on her blog:

nick&el!~ we re challenging u2 to a cooking match man! show us what uve got...;p
dun mess with us man...haaa, we re semi-pro cooks now!!

ok. in response to her challenge:

BRING IT ON!

WE ARE NOT (THAT) AFRAID! HAHAHA :p

ok i guess nick and i have to start learning some basic cookery skills before we get our butts kicked upsidedown by the pros. they can whip up lasagne while we can only cook spam and indomee. raarrr. the engineer and lawyer versus the businessman and doctor. should be an interesting match haha. i can't wait to move in with my future housemates! it's going to be so fun!! (at least i think it will be fun if nick and i don't end up washing the dishes all the time. heh.) or how about if arsenal kicks man u's ass. i think that would be FUN. :P

when self control is lacking, we tend to spiral down into a path of self-destruction.