HAPPY HALLOWEEN Y'ALL!
and a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY to GWENDA!

man i'm sososo sick of anat. humbuggers.
if i could go for a halloween party i think would dress up as some anatomical part of the body. like maybe the glutes or smthn. i dunno. anat is such a mouthful to digest and i suck at it.

:)

i think i lost weight! yay :)
sorry if this sounds bimbotic, but i'm desperate to lose some of the 7kg that i've piled on since i came to melbourne this feb. i desperately need to lose all the excess weight so that i can go and stuff myself silly when i go home for the summer. i miss home food sososo much! my dad did say that if i grew any fatter, he wouldn't bring me for buffets when i get home. and that is like pure torture for a girl who has been eating sandwiches and instant noodles and canned soup and timtams for the past 8 months! :/

anyways. i went to the anat museum today to look at pictures. more likely i was in the dissection room because all the pictures were put up there. and i was so glad to see shasti there, because the thought of being alone with 26 dead bodies is not exactly what anyone would wish for.

and this funny convo ensued:

el: i'm so screwed i just started learning my anat yesterday. and i say 'learn', because it's like the first time i'm going through it.
shasti: are you sure you're singaporean?
el: yeah.. why?
shasti: because all singaporean meddies would have already covered at least half of anat, and you only just started.
el: -_-"
shasti: and you know i never really knew you were in med.
el: serious?
shasti: yeah i never seem to see you around.
el: (this is where i start looking sheepish).. uhh..
shasti: wait. DO YOU EVEN COME FOR LECTURES?
el: ehmm... no?

darn it. shasti was trying to explain myotomes to me and i was like "whaaaat?"
ok looks like i really need to go study.
--

oh and i bought my Den muffins today! been craving for them for a week and they are soso GOOD! i would happily walk 25 minutes to and fro just to get them, because they are so worth it. unfortunately, they are very fattening as well. rarrr.

this comes a little late, but

i really miss school :(
i miss everything about school. i really do.
even if i was absent most of the time (sadly).
time is a stealthy thing. it creeps by you on tiptoe, and before you know it, it's gone. all gone.
i remember how i just arrived here on valentine's day this year with all the settling in and orientation activities still fresh in my memory,
and now 2 semesters have just passed me by, not to mention i'll be heading back for summer break in less than a month's time.

*goodbye to a wonderful first year of med.


everybody please do yourselves a favour.
go download here by me - 3doorsdown.

this is

really sad. i went to see what was on the WebCT discussions, only to see that my fellow meddies had taken to posting a whole horde of lame cheesy jokes on the forum. and seriously. those jokes are so L-A-M-E, i want to cringe.

if the people from other faculties could read our discussion forum, they would think we were absolutely whacko. i think medical students just get very sad during exam time.

freaking bananas.

i was happily eating my sandwich when i discovered that the cottage cheese i used was like 10 days after the expiry date. eeeewyucks. i hope i don't get the runs..

anyway i'm really starting to freak out now.
the panic button's just been pressed and now i'm in kancheong spider mode.
ok i guess i should take a hiatus from blogging.. it makes me waste more time than i have already wasted.. ugh. or at least i will try to resist the urge to not type about every ittybittylittle thing that happened to me. i guess there'll be less things worth mentioning since school is officially over, and it'll just be me and my books and notes.

but life ain't so bad... really.

last day of school 1

last day of year 1 med! pictures first.. words later. more pix to come after i hound kai & fad :)


i know i'm delicious but fad wants to eat me up.. haha :P


my dearest classmate kai! :)


chris and simon acting gay.. :/


J.A. and his pinkfetish (keri-lee thinks: "how gay".. haha)


CHMSE our meddie building


my darlings of groupB in south1 LT! joan is refusing to cooperate as usual.. kidding.

pride

we could go on winning all the battles on pride,
but then we would have lost each other along the way
somewhere, somehow.

then i would try to search for you,
and maybe you would turn back for me too.
perhaps we would find each other again,
but what if we never do?




tell me did you fall for a shooting star
one without a permanent scar
and then you missed me
while you were looking for yourself out there

happy 2-gether

i can't see me lovin' nobody but you
for all my life

?

sometimes when i think about the future i think i know what i want, and other times i lapse into moments of self-doubt, asking myself repeatedly if that is really what i want.
sometimes i feel as though i'm groping aimlessly in the dark-- it's like i know the exit is somewhere at the end of the tunnel-- i know it's right there within my reach, but somehow it all seems so vague and blurry and all i can do is try my luck at feeling for it. if i'm lucky, i'll get there faster.. if not, i'll probably be stuck there for a while more.
i do have a definite goal but once in a while i just get this feeling, that sometimes i'm just fumbling about, fluking my way through my life.. :(

...

crap i just woke up and missed 2 lectures. important ones too, i should say.
happiness.
i hate it when i'm late i really do. now my day is ruined.
i'm so utterly pathetic because it's the last week of school and i can't even redeem myself for the last time...

hur?

weird convo with joan.
--
Joan says:
don't talk to u already. byebye. got assignment.
Joan says:
byebye elliepoo darling
eleanor put your boots on says:
ok bye
eleanor put your boots on says:
yuck
Joan says:
i told you yuck u don't believe me
eleanor put your boots on says:
haha
eleanor put your boots on says:
elliepoo is fine
eleanor put your boots on says:
not the darling part
eleanor put your boots on says:
i would think you were lesbian or what


joan cracks me up.. ha ha :P

nerves

i'm a bundle of nerves!
coincidentally i'm studying about the nervous system. all those weird neurotransmitters and whatnot. ick.

rafflesian

after reading Gwenda's post on the RJ t-shirt, i couldn't help but nod fervently at her words.

having been in raffles schools for 6 years, i'm always getting remarks from people like "oh. raffles! you must be really smart!" or "i'm sure you raffles people will get your 4As just fine". not that i'm not flattered by these comments, because sometimes i am. i'm proud of my school and all, but i just find it so annoying that people think we're all high and mighty and infallible. well in my schools there were people who were outrageously smart kids who never needed to study much, but i suppose most of us were also just slightly-above-average students who were struggling to keep up with our studies. when we say we're really not that smart, people think we're pretending to be modest. seriously. why can't they just let it go? why give us so much hell just for being in a particular school? people laud us for achieving a 75% rate of scoring 3As and above, but no one sees the 25% that didn't do well. everyone thinks we're so smart we have it easy, but no one sees the effort that we put in, or the struggles that we face. everyone thinks we're paranoid when we say things like "what if i fail this paper?", because the general assumption is, "you're rafflesian! you're smart, you WON'T fail." the worst part is,when we screw up, people give us that incredulous look and go, "what happened?", and when we do well, people just assume "of course you'd do well, you're from raffles!" we put in a lot of effort too. i dislike it when people undermine my efforts, because i do take pride in my work. it's sad that people only see me for the grades on my certificate, but fail to acknowledge the hard work that i've put in to get those grades. typical singaporean mentality-- expectations, expectations, expectations. but let me tell you, raffles or not, people DO fail, and we work as hard as you do. we are only human. we may come from a highly-ranked school, and maybe some people think that we're atas and all, but mostly, we also think and feel like everyone else.

above all else, i love my raffles t-shirt. it IS the best shirt to sleep in because it's so soft and comfy. and yes, like gwenda, i'm going to stock up when i get back. :P

pressing on

easter camp meeting today went pretty well, what with prata and curry and jon's milk tea to kickstart things. my committee members are a really excitable and enthusiastic bunch, which makes me feel a little guilty for being a little stoned during the meeting. i'm quite revved up after the meeting actually, having discussed lots and lots great ideas and suggestions to make next year's easter camp a blast! however this also means that my workload has drastically increased, which is something i'm quite dreading. nevertheless, i know He will equip me adequately for all these tasks, even though it may seem daunting for now. and i know that at the end of it all, it will ultimately be a rewarding experience. easter camp this year was a meaningful and enjoyable one for me, being my first church camp and all, and i loved it. so, i really hope i can make next year's easter camp an awesome one for all the campers.

i'm now sososo behind time for my exam prep, but somehow inside of me i feel amazingly calm and composed, despite freaking out on the outside. it's a weird but wonderful feeling. i love my God :)

"Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." - Phil 3:13-14

gah

everythings a mess
nothings going right
but i still have to do what i have to do

i hate exams asdfgjklnmbcgyilklmvxadtwq

:) to >:(

i had this craving for dessert so after dinner at slobs (aka mess dining hall), i decided to get a scoop of ice-cream. so i stood there deciding between rum'n'raisin and chocolate until the ice-cream guy said he could secretly give me two scoops instead for the price of one. i think it pays to smile and look pitiful. hehe :P

omgosh. my neighbor's blasting r&b songs real loudly and i can feel the ground shaking. i think she's dancing inside her room while i'm trying hard to cram and i am so tempted to shake all her teeth out. WHAT THE.

sleepless in melbourne

so i went without sleep for the whole of last night, which is quite amazing for a sleepyhead like me.

i watched the sunrise from my window at about 550am, then at 630am i decided that i would sleep for an hour, just so that i wouldn't conk off completely in class. i was so afraid that i would oversleep (since i have this tendency to sleep for more than two hours in any sitting), so i changed into my outfit for the day and flopped onto bed so i could just get up and go in case i overslept. i woke up at 745am, forced hot coffee down my throat in 5 minutes and speed-walked to school in record time to reach the lecture theatre at 800am, only to discover that the lecture was scheduled to begin at 815am. -_- the ONE time i was early for an 800am lecture, and this had to happen.

i think i'm quite crazy really. hilarious, even. just a little bit more of hilarity and i could give joan a run for her money. (HALLO JOAN, i meant this as a compliment. :P)

and then all our lectures and classes ended so early, i had a 1.5 hour day instead of a 4hour day. so i went home to rest and went for a nice long run. now i'm dead tired but still quite perky somehow. ok this isn't really making much sense. i just know i'm close to falling asleep but there are just so many thought processes going on in my head right now. oh well. but what i wanted to say was that, i haven't felt so good about myself in ages (it must be the general morale-booster that comes along when everything is going my way-- being punctual, not falling asleep in class, paying attention, exercising, etc.). i think having a good start to the day really makes a world of difference.

but the spoiler of the day was watching some documentary about dolphin-shooting in adelaide. something about those lifeless carcasses, sporting multiple wounds, tugged at my heartstrings and wrecked my mood. sick b*stards, those dolphin shooters. and i was watching the coverage of the bali bombing memorial too. i could never, ever imagine myself in the shoes of those who had lost their loved-ones in that act of terrorism. i can't even imagine how much it would hurt as i watched a distraught widow grieving for her husband, as her young daughter fiddled with her stuffed toy, oblivious to the enormity of the situation. dolphin shootings, bali bombings, the list of atrocities goes on and on. why must people do things like that? it really makes no sense. and sometimes i wonder, what in the world happened to this thing called humanity.

:/

sometimes i think i spend way too much time thinking about the 'what ifs' in life. i constantly find myself inventing scenarios and imagining the worst in each one. i think of how easy it is lose those that i hold dear to my heart and it just scares me so much each time this thought is replayed in my mind. sometimes things are really that simple, but for some reason, it's difficult for me to take them at face value. perhaps that is why i always tend to complicate things and scare the crap out of myself. i think i need to spend more time cherishing what i have, instead of dwelling on all these things that don't matter.

anyway its nearly 4am now and i have a class at 8am
i think its pointless for me to sleep now.
:S

<3

when i look into your eyes i am reminded of how lucky and blessed i am. it is amazing because sometimes i still find it hard to believe that i've found someone as wonderful as you.

oooh

THIS is like HOW cool.
okok sorry i know i tend to gush over all these little novelties.
cheap thrills are still thrills, innit? :P

irony

indeed we live in a world of contradictions.
how is it that the faith of one quadraplegic man-- who also suffers from diabetes, is blind in one eye and has one leg amputated, has cardiovascular ailments and has wires in his chest to hold his sternum together-- surpasses so many of us physically fit people?
how is it that he sits up on the stage in his wheelchair with no sensation in his limbs, yet feeling the warmth of the Holy Spirit within him, while we sit comfortably on those cushioned benches, with hardly an expression or stirring?

reverse pyschology

i think there is something very wrong with me.
my one and only theory paper will be along in 24 days, and here i am, still in the mood to play online games while reading anat. i was playing yahoogames and wheel of fortune and battleship and now i'm trying to download the sims 2.
i really have no idea what i'm doing sometimes.
it gets pretty distressing after a while.
but i remember how most of my friends played gunbound every single day during the a levels. so, maybe i'm not mad after all. :P
strangely enough, in an ironic sense, playing all these games somehow help me to get through anat relatively quickly. hehe. though how much anat i've absorbed is another matter altogether. boo.

simpsons

was watching The Simpsons during dinner today-- some episode where the Simpsons go on a holiday at a ranch, and Marge said to Lisa, "Welcome to the world of love, Lisa. You will find that sometimes love will cause you a lot of pain, hurt and suffering. One day you will also find that you will love someone so much that it hurts."

it's quite true isn't it.

sloth.

if ever, there was a contest for being lazy, i would bag the grand prize.
today, after a month of not exercising, i finally hit the gym. and realised how unfit i was. then i wanted to make myself some french toast for lunch, but the thought of walking downstairs to the kitchen, the cooking and cleaning up totally got me. so i settled for a ham and cheese sandwich instead. i looked around in my room and saw the familiar stack of notes on my floor, and i remembered the promise i made 3 months ago, that i would file them all up. as i flipped through my new clinical examination book that i bought today, just 26 days before exams, i was fully aware that i could, and should, have gotten the book at least a month ago.
all these things, i either did not do, or i ended up putting them off for ages. all because i was too lazy.
i think my indolence will kill me one day. i seriously am getting too lazy for my own good. i think i would never have been so lazy if i were back home, because my dad would be on my case 24/7. but living by myself is no excuse to be lazy. i need some self-discipline. i need to start caring more about all the things i thought i could put off.
and i don't ever want to become a lazy fat slob.

Purpose.

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.
—Romans 8:28

ARGHHHH

i slept at 3am and set my alarm clock to 9am.
but when i finally woke up and looked at the time,
i nearly fainted.
it was 1PM, and i had slept for 10frickinhours.
if i were in groupA, i would have been late for class.
ok. gotta rush my assignment.
toodles.

october babies

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to
Kai, Dad and Prash!

fond memories of yesteryear

i miss rgs.


our lockers! too small though.


our cafeteria! haha 'east&west'! how cheesy. the drink stall uncle probably remembers me from all those packets of zooland i bought from him. :/


laoshi's impeccable handwriting. i wonder if she still remembers me. the naughty chinese rep-cum-money collector. :P i think she does (the face not the name).


sisters in learning and sisters at heart,
life lies before us-- here's luck, to the start.

i love this book

oh, to be young again

today happens to be children's day!
i loved children's day when i was a kid.
i remember how we had children's day celebrations in school,
where the teachers would gamely put together a concert just for us.
they would amuse us with their funny antics, or sing songs,
oh and there was even a magician! with those pull-out-a-scarve-from-his-ear trick, which really enraptured us kids, even though now we all probably know the secret to that trick.
and the best part was how each teacher handed us a bag of treats, and was especially nice to us throughout the day, and even refrained from giving us homework! :)
and then when i went home, my parents would give me their little token of love, some new doll or a play-doh set or a super-soaker.
and i would be the happiest kid in the world.

i suppose the best part of children's day would be going to bed, knowing that i was a very loved and lucky child indeed.
i loved my childhood. i was lucky to have loving parents and almost every toy i wanted. i was carefree and blissfully happy nearly all the time. ignorance was truly bliss, then. how i wished my life would always remain like that, but of course, we all know that the road ahead is fraught with uncertainties, worries and obstacles. but that doesn't mean that adulthood isn't going to be wonderful. it probably will be, just in a different sort of way.

i love the way kids think and perceive. i love it that they can look at things in a new, refreshing way with all innocence, while most adults merely see things as they are, usually inhibited by their preconceived notions or for some, their acquired cynicism. but i still believe that there is a child in every adult. and i know, even at age 50, or older, i will still be my parents' little girl. and to someone, i will always be 'The Kid 2'. in their eyes, i will never really grow up. and they will always be my heros, even when they are aged and frail and brittle. i suppose that is how it'll always be, at least for me. sometimes i take heart that i am capable of being childish. sure, at age 20, it gets kinda embarrassing, but in a way, it shows that the child in me is still very much alive.

my favourite book is The Little Prince, by Antoine de Saint-Exupery. it is a great book, and it never fails to remind me how much adults can learn from kids.

'I shouldn't have listened to her,' he confided to me one day, 'one should never listen to flowers. One must admire them and breathe their fragrance. Mine perfumed all my planet, but i did not know how to enjoy her. That tale of claws which irritated me so much should simply have touched my heart...'

And he confided further.

'At the time, i was unable to understand anything. I should have based my judgement upon deeds and no words. She cast her fragrance and her radiance over me. I should never have run away from her! I should have guessed at the affection behind her poor little tricks. Flowers are so inconsistent! But i was too young to know how to love her.'

All grown-ups were children once--
Although few of them remember it.

MSN

one of those crappy convos with my brother.

INSTANT SLUT - just add alcohol says:
go download high by james blunt
eleanor says:
i got high already
INSTANT SLUT - just add alcohol says:
on drugs ah?
INSTANT SLUT - just add alcohol says:
haha
eleanor says:
HURHUR VERY FUNNY.

---

speaking of my brother.
today he sent me a pic of his biceps via MSN.


i was kind of expecting a pic of his face. or at least the face and torso or a full length pic. or any regular photo of him doing his funny whacko actions.
seriously. why would anyone take a picture of their own biceps? :/