hello y'all!

just a quick update as i'm busy packing for my rural attachment.
i'll be in Moe (mow-ee) for the next 2 weeks, where i will get to bask in the company of a million cows and sheep in the middle of autumn (haha) and i heard the conditions there are like quite bad (ie. no heating :/) but even then, i really hope i'll make the most out of it!

don't know if i'll have internet access but i'll blog whenever i can! so stay tuned :)

a word of encouragement to those in distress: cast all your worries unto the Lord! remember that He is in control and He loves you dearly!

Y
el

i cannot help but laugh, at
the fool that i am.

indeed i do the silliest things; even if
i am capable of higher thought processes.
the things i do when i lose myself in emotions
are laughable, yet so poignant.

it is evident that i have not learnt to fully depend on Him.
but i'm learning.

Dear Eleanor,

You bumbling fool!
When will you ever learn?

God

my mood is at an all time low.
and i need catharsis, hence this meaningless post.

and bryanboy is positively disgusting;
all i can say is, YUCK.

argh i've got a massive breakout!
hate my skin.
:(

med2031 is getting really hectichectichectic.
the amount of work we have is close to obscene.
i'm so dreading the rural attachment come next week,
because it just means more assignments to hand up... GAH :/
sucks to hpkm and spc!

ergh i'm on a cortisol high
quick infuse me with serotonin i.v.

"But something happened to you when you'd had lots of relationships, meaning lots of breakups as well. At first, it hurt terribly, and you thought you'd never be able to get over it. But then you learned to be circumspect. You were only hurt because the guy had taken away your dream of the relationship. You understood that hurt feelings were really only about ego, about the self-absorbed idea that every man you were with should love you, that the universe owed you that. But love was not an inalienable human right, and some women probably went their whole lives without ever having had any man who really loved them."

today as the smell of meat from the barbeque in the park wafted towards my general direction, a wave of nausea overcame me.

i never thought i could detest meat. i mean, it's like 90% of my diet (i dislike veggies);
but today, i felt like it was the most disgusting thing on earth ever.
like it was obscene and grotesque and putrid.
i really thought i was going to throw up there and then.
i have never felt so sickened by food in ages.

think i'm going to avoid meat today. :/

ergh i typed this long post and blogger just totally screwed up on me.
i can't really be bothered to type everything out again, so.. yeah.
anyway it's 240am and i only JUST started looking through my stuff.
well done eleanor.

oh yeah it was JACK'S birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY JACKO!
we sabotaged him with lots of flour, water, eggs and cocoa powder;
we could have just thrown him into the oven and baked him there and then, if you ask me. HAHA :)
forgive me. my baking obsession is really getting to me.

yeah and i'm addicted to my muesli. it has so many dried fruit and nuts.
i absolutely adore nuts. mmmyum. everyone eat muesli! good for health you know.

ok, here's a funny story for you guys.
i had this intense desire to bake and then i chanced upon this choc chip cookie recipe, which looked fairly easy to execute.
so i decided it was cookies then.
and yeah, the crux of the story here is that i added baking powder instead of baking soda, and...

my cookies became mutant cake-like biscuits.
like you know, crunchy on the edges and cakey in the middle?

yeah, but i think it still tasted reasonably good. haha!
and i think i should start a blog documenting my baking misadventures.
i always seem to add wrong ingredients, or wrong proportions-
and then i end up with mutant creations like this or biscotti-like brownies. haha :)

ok going city soon for a mega shopping spreeee! yay i'm so excited! :)

wahoooo exams are over!
i mean exam is over! either way, YAY!
now i finally feel like i can enjoy what's left of my truncated easter break.
anyway, i thought the exam was real hard! got screwed by it upsidedown, plus the coldcoldcoldness was messing with my brain.. so yeah. but by the Grace of God i don't think i stuffed it up too badly. after all, i didn't really put in effort that was deserving of a high distinction grade. but yes, God has been so kind to me! and i'm so thankful that the exam is now over. :) (shopshopshopping time wahooo)

ok peeks from Easter! :)
presenting my wonderful cellgroup, Yesha Boulevard!
girls.


and guys.


yesterday nick and i went for dinner at yokohama teppanyaki at glen. we had sashimi! yumyum :) then we watched inside man at knox.. which started off quite well, until it became a tad draggy and confusing. in the end, i didn't know what the point of the movie was. i just know i ate heaps of boysenberry icecream and popcorn. haha. anyhow, i don't really care, it was a good night spent with him. :)

my God is awesome.

He opens my eyes and helps me put my problems into perspective;
instead of all the crying and wallowing, i can now toss my sadness away and reflect on how blessed i really am.

my God will love me for all times,
and His grace is all i will ever need.

easter camp was awesome;
it was a real shame that i could not enjoy it properly though.
but yes, it impacted me in a huge way and made me reflect on my Christian walk and the meaning of Easter.

and so i have decided.
i will not be a child anymore.
i will be a woman, a beautiful daughter of God;
who will lift her head up high with grace and set her eyes ahead on Him,
who will endure all hardships, and be strong in the face of trouble.

i've learnt that the vacuum in my heart can only be filled by God, and not by man.
the mistake i made, was to put all my hopes and trust into one man.
yes, it has been a painful lesson, but it woke me up.
i've realised that God should be the focus of my life;
that he should be number one, and nothing less.
i need to be in tune with God, and in tune with myself first;
then i can be truly in tune and at peace with everyone and everything else.
i've learnt that loving someone is just not enough;
but even so, i will try my hardest to make things work.
i don't know if it will be worth it in the long run;
but what i do know is that i love you,
and that alone, is sufficent for me.

Jesus, lover of my soul
Jesus, I will never let You go

i love You, i need You;
though my world may fall
i'll never let You go

p.s. thanks sherlynn, you have helped me more than you thought you could. thanks for being a wonderful confidante, and a trusted friend who is not afraid to wake me up from my folly. :)

p.p.s. dear wonderful readers of my blog! i'm having an exam in a few days time, so i won't be blogging much. check back after 21st apr, and pray for me if you can! many thanks and much love Y

back to the grinder.
hate it or love it one's gotta do what one's gotta do. :(

p.s. forgive the retarded action; people DO get bored in the library right? haha. :/

HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY SIPPYSIP!

have a fantabulousawesomewonderfulspankingrocksome day!
wish i were back to see you turn 21 though.
*sighs*
but i know you'll have the time of your life anyway, so take lots of pics to show me when return (prolly in june)!
much love XOXO Y

if there is one thing i dislike, it's having to study for exams on a rainy afternoon.
you just feel the urge to give in to the security and warmth of the cosy quilts and just relax and snooze.
but yeah, exam. remember?
anyway siestas increase your risk of having a cardiac event by 20% (i dunno how true this is, but yeah, i'm trying to console myself here).

ok easter camp tmr and sunday!
hope it will be a blast! haha:)

oh man. i nearly died laughing yesterday.
as usual, rupert never fails to crack me(and the entire class) up.
so yesterday, during tute, he tried to ask our tutor for her name.

"what's your name?"
"i'm hailey"
"yeah hailey, i--"
"i'm hailey"
"yeah hailey, well--"
"NONONO! my name IS AMELIE (uh-may-lee)"

and the whole class laughed for like, 5 minutes nonstop, and occassionally when rupert starting asking questions again. the end.

oh and i'm on holiday today, right till next thurs! wheeee
time alone with guyton, snell and kumar&clark...ickickick.
:(:(:(

GAH. i missed my first 2 lectures. :(
this is why i should never stay up past my bedtime.

Easter camp's coming, i'm really quite excited!
Ps Eric Levi wrote us an email, and what he said really struck a chord:

"No matter how busy or chaotic it may seem, i'm sure you know that God is in control yeah? And dont forget to have lots of fun while you're at it. Make it memorable for yourself."

i suppose sometimes we just get so caught up in everything, we forget that God is there to help us. And we actually have a choice to love what we're doing, rather than hate it.

could you do me a favour; like hit me on the head and yell at me to go and sleep?


i want to dream of luscious french tarts.

wow. i was just looking at my blog tracker and i'm amazed.
my blog readership has jumped by nearly twofold. haha.
which means i should blog more and make you voyeurs happy, no? :)

today i had no school! which was really great, because i desperately needed to complete the essays for SPC. and yeah, at about 6pm today, i wrapped things up. i hate the vancouver citation system. it's so confusing. i don't understand why we can't just stick to the harvard one, i mean, isn't it like the standard one? what's the use of learning so many referencing formats? it's not as if i'm going to publish a paper, right? (ok if in the most unlikely circumstance, i do publish one, then yeah, go ahead and laugh at me. :P)

erm yeah. and i practically stayed in the kitchen to do my essay. my room is so cluttered, i can barely do my work cause i get so stressed looking at the huge piles of study guides sitting on the table. haha.

oh! thanks you people who prayed for me, if you did.
i found it-- my precious little thing i lost!
guess where?


in my laundry hamper. HAHA.
oh yeah. having a TV rocks (to borrow the expression from joan)
we watched survivor panama exile island and CSI.
my first time watching TV in like 21563months.
so yeah. ROCKS. :)

to begin with, school today was awful with a capital A.
i missed a good lecture and reached school sleepy and sloppy.. ick. :/
pcl, as usual, was a complete waste of time (but today chapman was just being extra non sequiteur.) yeah. then i slept through my next two lectures (so much for a lecture on sleep deprivation) and didn't understand a word of anat. -_-
i think lack of sleep really messes you up completely. i don't want to be a walking zombie for 75% of the time like i was last year.

the best part was when hannah asked me to submit my part on SPC by thursday morn, and i was in distress. i told kr i hadn't even started on it yet. at least i borrowed like 5 books on it (which are like due pretty soon. yikes) so now i'm sitting in the kitchen trying to tap out essays on my laptop.

i baked brownies just now! we had them with connoiseur strawberry stravaganza ice cream and they were yummy! now i'm gelat. sitting in the kitchen is bad because i'm literally turning into a pig. i'm pigging out on chips, sultana bran crunch, brownies, biscuits and oh yes i also drank a cup of coffee. and its cold, so yeah. i'm just eating non-stop :(

nick is playing counterstrike and i wish i had free time too. but yeah, remind me again?-- exams.
buggery humbug.
ok back to chronic renal failure and pyschosocial consequences.

i tried to study today. as usual, only semi productive, because grocery shopping takes up like half my day (if you add the waking up, dawdling around, getting ready to go buy groceries). grocery shopping is nice when you have the time. i loveee the baking section. i love looking at all the bakeware and funny types of baking equipment and flour and flavourings! gives me such excitement to dream about designing my own kitchen (well-stocked with baking goods) in like, 10 years time. for now i'm only a novice and i mainly bake for the love of it and so that i can give my housemates a sugar high! haha. :)

i got so tired of looking at my notes and my hand was dying from copying out notes (according to prash, its "manual photocopying" HAHA) so i decided to type them out. but i type slower than i write, so my progress is waaay slow. oh well.

anyways, i decided to go for easter camp! but only for 2 days instead of the full 4.5 days. it would be such a shame if i couldn't go because i'm on the committee and we spent ages planning for this. so yeah, i decided to go and see it through (semi)completion! and of course, the main reason is to have a proper Easter celebration and give thanks to God for His grace and blessings :) and also to spend nick's last easter camp with him. :/

ok. i lost something reallyreally important.
please pray that it's around the house and that i'll find it soon.
thanks, you guys :)
ok gotta hit the books now, toooodles/

i feel the urgency.
easter camp, SPC (thanks to library books which cannot be renewed), HPKM, rural... and of course the midsem exam.
it's all coming, avalanche style.
and this is the part where i start becoming cranky and harassed.



things aren't the same anymore..!
which is sad, because i was so happy last year;
and now i hardly ever feel the same. :(

i'm so tired i can't even open my eyes properly!
but here i am still stubbornly blogging away.
i am so sick of med2031. bahhh.
they put exams immediately after easter break...?!
tamade.
oh today was so funny. we went for a make-up lecture and the lecturer stood us up again. turns out the idiot went to R7 instead of S1.
so what now, do we go for a make-up make-up lecture? this is as funny as a relief-relief teacher i once had. hahaha.
and then at matheson i giggled so bad while i was reading someone;s blog, i think people thought i was convulsing :/
and rupert my classmate is SO funny. i dunno how he did it, but he tripped on some seeds and ended up in crutches. i shouldn't be laughing, but really, it's so damn funny. and he laughed the loudest during pcl when we got to the part about "flailing arms and legs". and then shu and i looked at each other and laughed. :D

talking to jem last night made me realise how useless i've been--
its been more than a year since i came to melb, and i STILL don't know how to get around the city?! yeah i know, it's like i have this big ass LOSER sign affixed on my forehead.

"the streets are all parallel or perpendicular, so it's waaay easy to find your way around."
"uhh yeah i guess but the point is i still manage to get lost?"

so i resolve to explore the city by public transport more this year; i'll learn how to buy a stupid ticket and take the right trams and alight at the right stations and know where is flinders and lygon street and how to get to swanston and go to bridge road and QV mart. RESOLVE.

i need to learn how to drive, bahhh.
and easter camp is coming up and so is the midsem exam.. all this stress is driving me semi-insane,.
i feel like pulling my hair out. i mean, my fringe is ghastly anyway, so what difference does it make.
*laughs*

joan made fun of me. but i laughed too.. HAHA.


ok. on to some random photos!

my bed; which takes up half my room space.. :/

messy room!


at kairui's potluck party :)


sher's birthday!

having the worst possible day ever.,!
yesterday i cut my fringe because it was poking my eyes.
and the more i looked at it, the more i despised it.. obviously i should have sought professional help to fix it; or i should have just trimmed it a teenybit. but yeah. so today it looked even worse and so i hacked at it again. now i look like a freak. i look so awfully ugly i can't even bear to look in the mirror. i think i should go boil my head.. :(
then i realised i left my bag of chocolate chips in the sun, so they melted and solidified into a block;.. :x
haha i wonder how i even made it to uni sometimes, the genius that i am.
ok if only i could get some studying done, then perhaps it won't be such a bad day after all.

my virgin attempt at making brownies yesterday night proved to be half successful-- i cut back on the butter (due to grossly inadequate supplies) and my brownie turned into a funny sort of pastry. the crust and most of the top layer turned into biscotti(!); thankfully the middle portion came out moist and brownie-like, to say the least. so there. i can't believe i messed up in my brownie baking because it's just so idiot-proof, but i guess when you lack ingredients and still try to push it, you get a half-baked result (pun intended). haha :) at least i didn't mess it up completely! so.. yay?

this morning nick made me a slice of "bullseye", which was really quite nice even though he said he screwed it up. it's actually an egg cooked in a slice of bread, and you should try it when you can. it's really easy too: just heat a pan with olive oil/butter, tear a hole in a slice of bread, fry it, then crack an egg into the hole and after the egg's cooked, voila! a scrumptious, cute looking breakfast. :) we saw it V for Vendetta, but it was called "eggy-in-a-basket". by the way, V for Vendetta was awesome!

and so this ends my food entry for today. au revoir!

hello all! this blog turned one yesterday :)
i feel like relocating though, i think howthewindblows sounds a little lame and i think lj's not too bad, but blogger has treated me well all the same, so... i will probably stay put. or move when i feel like it. :/

photos will be up as soon as i have time to upload them;
for now, my life is filled with repiratory physiology concepts and fancy latin names relating to cranial anatomy :x and the occasional monday night baking sessions. oh and also a bar of awesommmme max brenners dark chocolate to last me through the week (thanks dear! :D) i would say that life is (quite) good. praise the Lord!