sitting, waiting, wishing.

and this is where the disappointment stems from:
from the heightened anticipation of the desires that eventually did not materialise.

coughlosercough

the chadstone VIP sale is on tomorrow!

omgosh i'm so excited :) all i can think about is shopping and getting my trenchcoat and boots and jeans(?) and mum's present!!

haha. nick apparently thinks i have a game plan to maximise my shopping spree. he also thinks that i'll only go home after 12midnight which is when the sale ends.. which is NOT true! i'm only giving myself 2 hours max. ok 2.5 hours max. and then i will drag my lustful materialistic self home. AND study. i personally don't think i'm that crazy about shopping. i sure hope i don't prove nick right. :/

and on a totally random note, this marks my 300th post! wooot :)

i think my PCL tutor is hilarious! (despite his fuddyduddy-ness and being so anal about punctuality).

this excerpt of his email really cracked me up:

As "The Ballet Dancer" is the final PCL for the semester, the final session (Friday June 9, 1:30 p.m.) is one at which the partaking of some celebratory refreshment will be permitted (but absolutely no alchohol or other dodgy substances). Of course, we are all responsible to ensure that everything is cleaned up without a trace, otherwise ...

Cheers,
Brian.

HAHA. :)

gah.
i just logged on to the blog set up by joan's friends, and learnt of her passing.
it just seems so unreal. especially when i'm so far away from home where this is all happening.
and two or three years ago, when we were all at the prime of our junior college lives, no one would have thought that this would be conceivable. much less imaginable.
but it has happened, and i guess life is really something that we have no control over.
we could plan so much for the future and make lists of "things-to-do-before-i'm-60" or fantasize about our future kids and all, but i guess God is the one who really has the final say. so i say treasure the present and love the people around you. we're not going to stick around forever so if we don't start now, when will we?

to joan:
rest in peace. i pray that you will begin a wonderful existence in God's kingdom. thank you for being my catcher and sorry for all the bruises! :/ you are much loved and dearly missed.

just a quick update:

we had a PJ party at my place yesterday!
it was such a blast although it went on till 1am when it was scheduled to end at 10pm. haha. it was quite embarrassing for me though.
let's just say i had to do a catwalk in my pjs. aaack :/
the best part was supper! i Y sinful food.
think chocolate coated strawberries, apple sponge pudding, triple chocolate cookies, konnyaku jelly, bread pudding and eileen's famous and decadent chocolate cheescake. mmmhm!
yeah. FAT FEST! haha. dunno how much taebo i need to do to lose the calories. ugh. but no regrets though! :)

i went for church today and it was AWESOME! :)
the speaker was joseph garlington, who sings as he preaches!
i've never ever come across a minister who was so unique,
and yes, it was a great message filled with humour and song and cheer.
i was exceptionally happy(!!!) in church today. it was as though i could see God sitting among us and having fun with us. it was the highlight of my entire day :)

then i went home and made puff pastry pizza, which was turned out quite well! hooray!! we caught iron chef on tv (by accident) and i was so excited and squeal-ly nick had to tell me to relax. haha :S
oh well, it was a happy day today.

the only thing i'm miffed about ...is actually myself.
i stupidly applied face cream that was expired ages ago on my face.
and yes, i ended up with this massive outbreak.
i have raised red bumps on my face where i smeared the stupid cream :(
nick keeps making fun of me it's not even funny anymore.
i hope it's not permanent... argh! ok. it's too long a post for a quick update.
i needneedneed to study. ok bye.

today i decided to be a complete bum
and so i skipped school (6 hours of class ... aaacck!)
and made myself a decadent lunch of tuna, ham & mushroom linguine!
the end :)

i just baked apple pie and peanut butter croissants! happy :)
i love food so much it makes me excited just watching the pies browning in the oven.
i love it even more when i bake for others; it gives me immense satisfaction to know that others enjoy it and are blessed by it.

but i really dislike having to watch my diet.
i know i'm not fat, and i know that my current weight is ideal;
but the thought of putting on weight (even if it's just a little) disturbs me.
i haven't been exercising for a month now, which is bad-
because when i did i could pig out more often and now i have to stop myself from eating all my favourite (and sinful) pastries.

and the other day, i finished this HUGE cup of mango lassi.
it was like drinking 1 litre of condensed yoghurt.
i think i was ready to puke after i wolfed it down. ugh.
no more mango lassi for me for a very long time. haha!
i just had my supper of apple pie and chocolate mint ice cream.
what a fatty treat! ok i will go and run tomorrow (if its not too cold) or taebo.

ok this is quite a brainless post. forgive me for obsessing about my weight
i get really self-conscious sometimes.

i believe in this thing called love.
not the "to me, you are perfect" kind of love.

more like "to me, you are imperfect but i will still love you".
the kind of love that transcends strife, pride, hurt and ugliness.
where it becomes painful to love sometimes,
but you still do anyway.

seen on the toilet cubicle walls:

"Love is the greatest and most important thing of all"

"Where does love come from?"

"God! :)"

"Yeah God is great!!"

"If God is so great, what's he doing in a female toilet?"

"That's because He's everywhere"

and someone added "Do everything in love". it's from 1 Corinthians.
i think it sort of spoke to me. i love this verse!

the other day my housemates were watching love actually on tv.

"to me you are perfect".
i think that is one of the sweetest things someone can say to another. but of course, words are just words unless you mean it, or if you have some action to prove it.

my heart never fails to melt at this scene. it is the one scene i replay over and over again, crying my eyes silly. then i realise that i'm not kiera knightley's character, and i wonder why i'm trying to live vicariously through her. i guess it's human nature: that strong intense desire to be loved and cared for, knowing that you are important to someone out there. i love this scene not just because it's merely sweet, but more so because i think it takes so, so, so much courage to subject oneself to vulnerability. and that kind of courage truly moves me.

i know it's not the same in reality. real relationships are not some idyllic love story with a fairy tale ending. they involve a certain amount of hardship and sometimes heartbreak and despair. a real life relationship is no joyride. but i like to be deluded once in a while, if you know what i mean.

God is truly awesome!
He is always there-- listening, caring, loving and comforting.
what more could i ask for? :)

and yes, to my mother
HAPPY MUMS' DAYY
and i miss you so.

yes, back from moe and life is good.
i feel like my studies are in disarray (as always);
but i know my life is sort of back on track, even with the stress.
i'm lovin' it.

it feels like falling in love all over again, somehow.

God gives me so many things to be thankful for;
and i am in awe.
Y

hello!

i'm blogging live from Moe!
the pace of life is crazily slow here
and i miss everyone to death.
wait for me i'm coming back in 2 days!!

YYY

oh dear! sudden flood of emotions.

it happened when i suddenly thought of the people dear to me,
and i miss them already :(

goodbye my dears [insert trail of teardrops]