perhaps it is a thing of the inevitable, but i just get so frustrated whenever i am reminded of my own inadequacy. the woes of not being smart emough, pretty enough, skinny enough, nice enough, talented enough, sporty enough, hardworking enough yaddayadda.. the list goes on. why is it that what we have is always not enough? and just when we thought that maybe it would be enough, the tide of insecurity and fear washes over us, and sweeps us back into the doldrums again. i just watched an episode of sex and the city. carrie bradshaw was fretting that mr big would leave her because she was not the perfect girl in his eyes. i feel like that carrie all the time. i try to tell myself that i am who i am and that people do like me for what i'm really worth, but it isn't quite working. maybe a dose of self-esteem boosting drugs will do the trick.

maybe i'm just having a bad day. i just hope that this feeling will just go away as quickly as it came. i'm nearly done with the packing! i simply cannot wait to set foot on homeground.