sometimes, when i think of the old life (ie. my life in singapore back then) versus the new life (ie. my life in melb now), i get a little sad. i wasn't exactly the happiest person back then, but i can say that for now i'm smiling more, feeling more blessed, and being more thankful. somehow i can't help feeling that singapore was my dreary mousehole, and melbourne was my escape paradise. so when i think i about flying home for the summer, i become increasingly ambivalent. i want sososo much to see my family and friends whom i've missed so badly, and yet i know i don't want to go back to the old life.
i think i've changed a lot since coming to melb. i've become less pessimistic and more upbeat about life in general. yet i've become less hardworking, and also less disciplined. i'm much happier here, but sometimes i find myself in disarray all too often. is that good or bad?
the feeling is odd. i remember how i had to pull myself away from the old life with much difficulty- leaving behind all the relationships that i'd built up, coming to a strange new land in search of an education. now that everything has fallen nicely into place, and how i'm relishing my new life, i can't help but think that my family and friends back home have moved on without me, and it seems a little daunting to try and fit myself into the old life again.
i suppose this is merely my escape paradise.
home, is still home, after all.

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i think i am getting a bit out of hand. i'm missing so much school. voluntarily. this is bad this is bad. :/