sometimes i think i thrive on the insecurities of others to make myself feel better. which is a bad thing to do, and also a paradox because i'm insecure myself. i hate comparing myself to others but i still do. and even if i don't, i know some other person out there will compare me with others anyway. it's like we're all monicas. like we always have to win. to be the best at everything all the time. we strive to be the prettiest thinnest smartest most popular richest coolest person around but just what do we get out of it, other than some transient gratification? we know best but yet we still keep doing it. why? i tell myself all the time that beauty is only skin deep. but is it really? why is it so difficult for people to get past appearances?