booya. i'm going back to my happy land!
no more sitting waiting and wishing.
this is it. the start of a wonderful life (i hope).

seeeya when i get my internet up and running! <3

these are the memories i want to hold on to, always.

let us make this year a wonderful one, with memories to last us a lifetime.
let us treasure the short time we have left and make every second count.
... i wish i could bring time to a standstill. i really do.

*

oh yes thank you darren for the vday card!
have yourself a wonderful vday. :)

in four days i've witnessed the frailty of life,
seen hopelessness and hope co-exist,
watched on as devoted loved ones agonize their loss,
witnessed the futility of medicine against a raging illness.

it's only been four days. but i've seen two deaths and forty odd terminal cases.
and i know when i get back on monday,
there will be more beds empty;
more familiar faces missing.

i've learnt that death is as natural as birth,
even if people don't usually see it that way.
i've learnt that sometimes we can never heal them
but at least we can take away their pain.
to me the allure of medicine is not merely in its restorative powers,
but more so in its ability to make the hurt go away..
not a promise to cure, but the promise to make life a little more bearable.
it's akin to making someone stop crying and smile a little,
even if he knows that things are not looking up, or never will..

only day two and i'm already absolutely knackered.
4.5hrs of sleep a day is just barely enough.
not that i'm complaining because i do quite enjoy it,
only i wish i had enough energy to pay full attention and learn from the consultant.

sat in for a meeting and met the chairman today.. he was really nice.
we talked about melanoma and solariums?! haha.
had a mini debate on euthanasia with the consultant and MO..
the netherlands has weird laws on euthanasia.. what a laugh.
i think the debate on euthanasia is a circular argument. paradoxical and contentious.
i am not for euthanasia though.

and dr kok gave me homework.
multiple myelomas. :/
i realise i am forgetting my anatomy/pharmaco by the chunks. oh my.
dr kok said "better revise your work ok!". haha.

oh yay. the countdown's getting lower.
8 more days ......wheeeee*

feeling chipper now.
i can't wait for my attachment tomorrow! :)

as an afterthought,
all that really matters
is that we have each other.

all i want
is a love that strengthens me
and a love i can find courage in giving.

sometimes
i wonder where you are,
what you do.. even this very minute.
i wonder if you even know how much i long to see you;
whether you miss me as much as i miss you.

sometimes i just feel so very unsure, so very insecure.
i never want to be apart from you

oh my. i've got to figure out how to lug 60 shirts back to melb.
major headache. :/

by the grace of God, please let me get the shirts back one way or another.

hello monash peeps in singapore! if you have extra baggage space to spare,
PLEASE contact me. eleanike@hotmail.com
it's for a good cause. these are the t-shirts for Easter Camp '06.
i really need help because i'm going back soon and i need to work this out.
thank you! your help will be greatly appreciated. :)